Ben Lawers

My hike began in darkness,

no others on that hill.

But off I set in search of,

another Munro thrill.

Gradually the sun sun rose,

in golden splendour bright.

Still I trekked that hillside

in gingery bathed light.

Breath, was getting colder,

ice had snared the ground.

Feet still firmly walked though,

wind the only sound.

Higher into heaven,

wispy ice on grass

My feet kept carefully treading

oer the summit of Beinn Ghlass.

Of in distant snowscape

Ben Lawers beckoned on

wind my ears were chilling,

aureate, the sun still shone.

Icy climb, I feared you,

tried but battered back,

so close I almost touched it

that grit I never lack.

I had to take defeat,

the wind it had me battered,

but still I wore my smile,

with pride a little tattered.

Munros will always be there,

not me, I’ll turn to dust.

But today was not that day,

I’ll be back; that is a must.

Well, I’m not quite sure what to say about yesterday’s adventure, other than it felt epic. I felt like a proper mountaineer (even though I understand I’m not; I really don’t take myself that seriously). I’m pretty sure I even mumbled the word “Crampons” under my breath at one point. I left the house in the dark, arrived at the car park in the dark; the first car of the day. I think I had secretly hoped to see other lights wending their way up the path as reassurance. But no, seems like today I was the earliest bird and I had to pull on my big girl pants and get going. There was a really chilly wind even at that level and my hands were shouting at me to get gloves on as I sorted out my kit and got prepared.

It was just after 7.15am when I set out towards the hill with my head torch and a stomach full of nervous anticipation. The walk was quiet, and calm and the sun creeping over the hills made the early start so worth it. The nerves disappeared as my body settled into its steady slow rhythm and began to warm up. The path was easy to follow but as I got higher large sections of it had turned into skating rinks, but with care it was easy to move around them. The wind got cooler, and the sky turned orange, the hills began to emerge in the morning light and it was a breathtaking sight. Beinn Ghlas came into view and as I got higher the grasses stood in frosty silence and the hill gradually turned white. It was incredibly dry under foot though so it didn’t feel slippy or dangerous even when clambering up some of the steeper sections. Eventually I came over the top of the first Munro and I am so glad it is part of the hike, at least of felt i had accomplished that if nothing else. The wind had picked up and the bealach looked a little intimidating to this rookie Munro bagger, I was actually questioning my sanity at this point, albeit with a smile on my face. I could see the trig point up the steep assent to Ben Lawers and my mind was racing; could I do that? The wind was starting to take its toll, and I was flagging a bit. I needed to keep going though if nothing else I needed to get to the base of Ben Lawers to take the bypass route back to the car park. I’d had quite enough excitement for one day and had no desire to go back over Beinn Ghlass.

The views were stunning, I just couldn’t soak up enough of the sunlight glinting through the crystals. Once across the bealach I steeled myself for this last trying climb that looked so near and still so very far. As I turned to look back I saw two bodies coming along the bypass path, I’m not going to lie it was a bit of a relief to see other humans and it spurred me on and up the hill. It was not easy; some patches were super icy and the effort it took my brain to figure out a way round it told me that I was flagging…..but it was so close. Before I knew it the two figures had overtaking me, with a muffled grumble to each other and me about the wind speed picking up. I then really started to struggle, I kept moving slowly then sitting down, at some points the wind took the decision for me and planted me firmly on my arse. Mother nature absolutely in control. The two chaps in front of me were also struggling to stand and I could feel my willpower waning, still I kept going, it seemed that I could almost touch the trig point…so close. I sat on a rock and watched as the two walkers in front of me made it to the top. It looked like they were almost hanging on to each other and the trig point to stand up. It was then I knew I could go no further; I knew I had to go down. The two turned and very soon caught up to me, checked in and acknowledged my decision. I had actually begun to feel a bit dizzy and couldn’t stop to admire the scenery, I just needed to focus on the path, get down and then get some fuel into me. Footprints in the snow and my internal narrative to just follow the prints saw me slowly step and slide; on my bum sometimes to the base of Ben Lawers. The two other walkers had taken shelter behind a rock to take the opportunity to eat, so I joined them, glad of the reprieve from the wind. It was lovely to have that human contact and reassurance I had made the right choice, they said they thought the wind speeds must have been about 70 mph and the windchill making temperatures feel about -20c. Slushy water bottles were a testament to how cold it had been. It just made me feel a bit better about the choice. After a quick food stop we said our goodbyes, they’d come round the bypass and were headed back over Beinn Ghlass, I was grateful to be starting on my walk back to the car via the bypass. The dizziness had passed and with the wind dropping I could enjoy the new scenery and the relative ease of the walk. I’m a pretty slow walker, because I just plod away and take lots of photographs, its not about how fast I do it, its about the fact I’m here in nature, doing this whilst I still can. I was glad to see the car and with tight calves (still getting used to my freet shoes) and one tiny blister on one toe I drove away with lots of good memories and only minor disappointment, it had felt scary up there and we need to respect nature and not think we are invincible; we are not. The hill will still be there another day, but I wont be back to this now until the summer. I might reassess and think about Corbett walking over the winter, even that will be challenging enough.